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I'll Be There For You...

...except in the following circumstances:

You become a complete fun sponge, sucking the enjoyment out of every room we step foot in.You insist on meeting in cafes. ALL THE TIME.Our time together begins to revolve solely around alcohol to make it tolerable.You take up a new hobby and fucking ram it down my throat every chance you get.You decide that we need a 'girls night' but never actually pin down time to make it happen.My children become something you try to avoid.You talk about yourself incessantly and forget to once ask how things are with me.You start popping fucking Juice Plus, or some other kind of pyramid bullshit-juice.You try and convert me into taking pyramid bullshit-juice.You start competitive dressing. Fuck that shit.You insist on calling me 'hun'.
This list isn't exhaustive....we may need to return to it.

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